Why Stop There?

Toronto is considering a ban on transfats because -- if we don't all boil alive in the next five years as a result of global warming -- they are going to kill us.

Well, that's all well and good, and of course we can all agree that the government should make all of our decisions (major and minor) for us. But I'm confused as to why this new proposal is so narrow in scope. Even though I accept that trans fats are the single greatest threat to human kind since chlorofluorocarbons, I'm not sure they can be blamed for all of our ill health. There are all sorts of lifestyle choices that we know are good for us, and yet so many people are not making them. If Mayor Miller really cares for the people of this city he will take their health into his hands immediately. I propose that the following should become law within the city of Toronto:

1) No smoking. Obviously. Not just in public. Not just in front of children. Anywhere at all times. The evidence is in. It's bad for you.
2) At least 8 hours sleep a night. A good night's sleep is known to have many health benefits. Busy students, working parents, people addicted to Facebook, so few of us are getting enough sleep. It would also help save energy. Lights out from 11-7. Sweet dreams!
3) 6-8 glasses of water a day. The evidence is in. It's in every women's magazine. Water is good for you. Drink it.
4) One-a-day vitamins for all. Because there would be a cost associated with this one, the city will demand new money from the feds to pay for it (Our Money, Our Micronutrients!)
5) Each citizen's caloric intake will be limited based on recommendations from Canada's Food Guide to Healthy Living. Obviously eventually Toronto will need it's own food guide to reflect our ethnic diversity, dietary restrictions and special needs, but building a food guide takes time and we need action now!
6) Daily cardio and weekend yoga/pilates. Toronto needs to get moving!

Sure, there are those that claim that the city does not have the right to enforce such laws. But a careful reading of the new City of Toronto Act shows that Mayor Miller does indeed have such authority (morally if not legally).

In no time at all Toronto will not only be the Greenest City in North America^TM, but the Healthiest Metropolis in the Galaxy ^TM. And that's a city I want to live in!