Monday, December 12, 2005

What's next?

With Stephen'I've sold out any principles I once had to win this fucking election' Harper announcing he's going to give parents a tax break for enrolling children in sports programs (and one imagines a soon to be forthcoming Liberal program, 'MartinJeunesse', modelled on a German system of promoting healthy living and healthy minds to young children), Bitter Lemon can do little but ask, 'what's next'?

Studies have shown that showing children affection is good for them. The government should pay parents to hug their kids. Literacy is also important: send the government a video of you reading to your children and they will send you cash. Computer skills are also good: not only should the government be providing tax credits with which to buy computers, but it should provide free internet access to every family with children.

In order to support these new benefits, Canadians without children (who are clearly valueless in our society) should be asked to pay significantly higher taxes. At first it doesn't sound fair, but when you think about it, they just spend money on hedonistic pursuits anyway and since it is the government's job to shape citizens' behaviour, it is best for everyone.

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