You know your country is in the right

When the Sudanese and the Saudis are boycotting you.

I'll support the Danish government considering an apology to the Muslim world if the Saudis apologise to the rest of the world for sponsoring terrorism and exporting a particularly backward version of Islam. Oh, and for denying rights to women. And foreigners. And for failing to pressure other Muslims governments to stop commiting genocide against their own populations. In fact, when Saudi Arabia apologises for pretty much every action it has ever taken as a state, then Denmark can look into whether they owe anyone an apology for having a free press that published pictures that are offensive to people who should probably be living in Saudi Arabia if they can't tolerate people criticizing their faith.

Update: Buy Danish! This on-line Danish Food Shop has an entire section devoted to liquorice! Never mind buying Danish, I might just move there!

And isn't it time to throw a Trudeau kid into the mix?

Frank McKenna says that he won't be running for Liberal leadership, telling reporters, "I'm not vain enough to believe I alone can provide the leadership our great country needs this time". If vanity's what we're looking for, then Belinda we've got a job for you!

The Globe mentions a few possibilities in the article:

Others named as possible contenders have ranged from former NDP Ontario premier Bob Rae and MP Scott Brison to Belinda Stronach, a Liberal MP who defected from the Conservatives during the last session.

As enjoyable as a Scott/Belinda bitchfest would be, I'm holding out hopes for a Bob Rae/Michael Ignatieff leadership competition. Okay, it may be incredibly farfetched, but given that they were roommates back in their undergrad days, how much fun would it be? "He can't even follow a chore wheel, how could he be party leader?!" (oh, you know those dorks had a chore wheel), "He'd be sneaking women into Stornoway at all hours of the night" (don't be jealous Bob!), "You want someone to help get the party's finances under control? He couldn't even pay his bills!".

It'd be a tough call though. Who do you support: the guy who did such a bad job running Ontario, or the guy who hasn't lived in the country for nearly 30 years? That's the problem with Canada, when it comes to political leadership, we're just spoilt for choice.

I know I should probably find sources of joy that aren't rooted in other people's misery...

But this makes me very happy.

Whatever could this mean?

Frank McKenna has stepped down as Ambassador to the U.S. I wonder if he has another job in mind.

Memo To Torontonians On the Day After the Election

The fact that nearly everybody you know agrees with you does not make your beliefs apolitical. Looking at me like a wounded puppy dog will not actually replace the need to have the facts to back up your assertions.

They won, you're just going to have to deal with it.

I guess I'll have to take my lashes

I think I misssed the call to prayer this morning. Are we each assigned to a particular church, or is that decision going to be left up to us? Where will we find out which part of the scriptures we are supposed to read each day? I bet they went over all this at morning services, didn't they? Damn, why did I sleep past the alarm?!

This new government's going to take some getting used to.

God bless.

Stephen!

First point: How cute is it going to be, First Ladies Laura and Laureen? For that alone, Harper had to win tonight.

But this is what happens when you let the West in: Victory speeches after 1 a.m. We should elect more leaders from Quebec.

-He speaks English first! Typical Albertan, pandering to the majority.

-Ooh, he just mentioned the prayers of supporters. Ladies and Gentleman, we now officially live in a theocracy.

-You'll note that Paul wasn't included in the list of leaders running 'honourable' campaigns. He doesn't want to start off by lying to the public.

- Canada: "sovereign, strong, free and united"? Fascist!

- Wow, that's the longest a Canadian leader has gone without mentioning healthcare. I think he might have made it past 10 minutes.

- He just abandoned Canada! "Made in Ottawa solutions don't work"? Since when?!

- He acknowledged our soldiers in Afghanistan. Finally we get a leader who respects the armed forces.

God Bless Canada!

You're welcome Jack

Jack is speaking. He personally thanked the people of Trinity-Spadina. I can't say it was easy Jack, I gave a little bit of my soul so that you could have your wife with you. But I appreciate the acknowledgement.

Kids: Get a job. Jack wants to see families working!

King Paul Abdicates

It seems HRH Paul I has just called Stephen Harper and conceded defeat. And the sky has not yet fallen!!!

Paul has been denied the legacy he wanted as Prime Minister, and that alone has put a smile on my face.

I would have preferred it if the Conservatives had won more seats, but at least Canadians have shown that they are prepared to live under a non-Liberal government. Now we can work towards a majority.

Update: (12:14) Paul has announced he'll be stepping down as leader. 'Tis a glorious day. Watching the Liberals duke it out is going to be fun!

Barely time to take the tree down

Peter Mansbridge just pointed out that the turnout was 'surprisingly' higher than the last election, despite the "holiday election". This is apparently good news for all Canadians.

Way to go Canada! So close to Christmas and you managed to do your one democratic duty. I guess if it had been a few weeks later, we would have been too distracted by Valentine's Day (or a certain bitter blogger's birthday) to get to the polls.

Update: Gord Martineau just declared a disappointing turnout. I'm glad they've all got their facts straight.

Update: Alan Gregg just pointed out the higher turnout in this election. Turns out Gord is just an idiot (who knew?).

Now I can't even count on Torontonians to be Anti-American?

Michael Ignatieff (who is looking much goofier than he used to, I might add) has won his riding.

That's it, I'm running in Bradford & West Yorkshire in the next election.

I know it's early

But Olivia is ahead right now.

Come on Toronto, let the bicycle built for two be Ottawa's problem.

Update: Track Liv here

Update: (11:43) They are now calling it for Olivia. I personally won't feel comfortable until more of the polls are returned.

Update (11:45) Apparently she feels comfortable, because she's making her victory speech. I'm still holding off. I have less faith in her than she has in herself.

Update (12:33) With 243/262 polls returning and over 3000 votes in the lead, Bitter Lemon finally calls Trinity-Spadina for Olivia Chow.

City Calls it For Harper

Adam Vaughan just died a little bit inside.

CBC refuses to call. Not because of the principle of not calling too soon, but because they refuse to spread the fear.

Update (11:10) CBC has now called a Harper minority.

Well sure, if you give everyone stock tips

It seems Ralph Goodale is winning his riding.

I'm saying nothing

But a certain person who may or may not have slept with a certain president of a country to the south of us is leading in very early results.

Update (10:20) Track a certain person here

Update (10:27) CTV just called a Belinda victory.

Update (11: 02) She won?!! Seriously, what do you have to do to lose?

Update (11:25) Belinda is just coming up to the podium for her victory speech. Does she realise that they won't let her cross back?

Update (11:56) Did you know Belinda got into public office to "make a difference"? I've lost count of how many times she has said that tonight (and througout the campaign for that matter). Belinda: stop campaigning now, you've won and the people of Newmarket-Aurora have shown that they too stupid to care what you say anyway.

Update (2:03) They just replayed Belinda's speech. In it she said that if Stephen Harper wanted to take rights away from "individual Canadians, or from women" she would be there to stop him. When exactly did I lose my standing as an individual Canadian?! I had this funny notion that I was a whole person, but apparently I am just part of the collective. I hate you Newmarket-Aurora!

I would never go against the government

But Global has declared that Canadians have a reason to be quite scared.

Get democracy out of your system Alberta!

Haroon Siddiqui just pointed out on TVO that it is good that the West had some influence in this election, since it gave them the opportunity to "get it out of their system".

What about Quebec? Why doesn't anybody ever talk about Quebec?

Protect yourself!

The Canadian government understands that information is dangerous and has been kind enough to protect us from ourselves through a media blackout. It is integral therefore that you avoid sites such as proalberta.com tonight until the polls are closed in your area. You could find out things that you are not supposed to know.

Is democracy supposed to make you feel this dirty?

All right, I've done my part for defeating Canada's Laziest MP. It's in G-d's hands now (what?! I'm not going to do anything that might upset Him today).

I've got to finish a paper, but as soon as it's done, I promise to be in blogging overdrive.

Attention Female Readers

If you want an abortion go have your last one now, because if the Tories win tonight then tomorrow the Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (Canadian Chapter) is coming to install a tracking device on your uterus (trust me, I've seen the Hidden Agenda).

And remember: Vote Liberal; because "Peace, Order and Fear" is as good a national motto as any.