Watching Lou Dobbs Causes Leprosy!

Viewership for Lou Dobbs has been increasing steadily over the past few years. According to the pretend experts Lou has on his show, in that time, rates of leprosy have skyrocketed. Coincidence? I think not.

And I don't care what "evidence" you present, I'm not publishing a retraction. There is an epidemic of leprosy among hard working middle class Americans, and I will not rest until the Lou Dobbs virus is taken off the air!