Don't let the bastards get you down.... oh wait, you are the bastards

It's taken me a while, but I think I've finally decided on my absolute favourite thing about politics in this country. I know what you're thinking: "How could you possibly narrow it down, there are so many things: the depth of the debate, like how you can preface anything with 'American-style' to define it as bad and hide behind 'Charter Rights' (as if Canadians actually care) when you don't want to admit your actual opinion on something; the wide range of issues discussed from health care to health care and back again; the fact that you vote for an individual, not a party, but their opinion doesn't count because party line is totally where it's at; and the fact that we have a minority government but the Prime Minister still acts like he's God on high."

And you're right, those are all wonderful things about our nation's politics. But at the end of the day -- at the federal level -- I think I'm going to have to go with the fact that the Liberals have been in office for over a decade but they still act like the victimised ones. The mean opposition threatening to call an election over a little thing like the sponsorship scandal! “Obviously, if Stephen Harper and the Bloc Québécois are going to come together to force an election, there's going to be an election,” concedes King Paul. (I love how they never refer to the Conservatives, but rather 'Stephen Harper', ooh, the evil Stephen Harper, the man who is going to make you have eight children and take away a woman's one and only choice in this world -- except that he has repeatedly said that he is not and it would never fly in Canada... but I digress).

You see Your Highness, you did not win a majority of the vote, despite how hard you tried to scare everyone into voting for you last time around (do not vote NDP or you'll get Stephen Harper... did you not read/see the Handmaid's Tale people? STEPHEN HARPER!!!) And now the dirty little secrets about your dirty little scheming party are coming out and Canadians aren't impressed. Well, if we're being honest, most Canadians aren't really paying any attention, which is why we're in this sorry mess in the first place. But I'll leave that for another day.

The thing about the parliamentary system is that if you don't get the majority of the seats you can't govern like a dictator like your predecesor. So, yes, it sucks for you that you have to deal with the fallout from his corrupt 'little guy from Shawinigan' ways, but it sucks for me that I have to live with a Liberal government at the provincial and federal levels. And you're the one who chose to jump into bed with these power-hungry ideology-free politicians in the first place (by the way, I didn't mean ideology free as a compliment... politicians should have political principals). So please stop trying to come off as the victim in all of this. The criminals in this case are not the people that are trying to 'force' an election... the criminals are the people who took my hard earned dollars and ... well, you tell me what they did with it (no seriously, if I promise not to publish it, will you? Promise!).